


Lonely

by roswyrm



Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: ANGST WILL MAKE ME FEEL BETTER, Angst, Character Study, JFC, OH IM SAD ABOUT GRIZZOP HM I KNOW WHAT WILL MAKE ME FEEL BETTER
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-10-19 14:34:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17603177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roswyrm/pseuds/roswyrm
Summary: Grizzop doesn't have time to be lonely.





	Lonely

**Author's Note:**

> mods are asleep post half-formed grizzop-based theories/ideas that will get disproven within the next two episodes. Working Title: _local sadboi utterly overwhelmed by loneliness and expectations_

Grizzop isn't lonely.

(Indrak always rolled their eyes when Grizzop got excited about being a paladin. Not in a derogatory way, they understood as much as anybody —if not _more than_ anybody— how important it was to him. But they always laughed at him. "You can do more," they told him, more of a habit than a legitimate attempt at convincing him, "with me. With us."

"You do good in your way," Grizzop answered, "and I'll do it in mine.")

Grizzop is a Paladin Of Artemis, Grizzop Swore An Oath, Grizzop doesn't have time to be lonely.

(Indrak knew he was stressed about the coming trials because he never really shut up about it. So they dragged him away from his theism and his archery and his zoology and sat him down in a nice cafe. Grizzop had resented the lost time, of course, but he couldn't help but grin when Indrak snapped a photo of the pair of them. Just two goblins, sharing some hot chocolate. Not so different from one another at all.)

Grizzop has Things To Do, Grizzop has a pack to Protect and an Oath to Fulfil, Grizzop _doesn't have time_ to be lonely because he is so small, and the work he has to do is so big, and he doesn't have time to indulge in something as _selfish_ as loneliness.

("Doesn't it get lonely?" Indrak asked, staring up at the stars. "Sitting by yourself in those classrooms, with no one to talk to?"

Grizzop shrugged, picked out _Cygnus_ and _Corona Borealis_ and _Scorpius._ Indrak squeezed his hand. He squeezed theirs back. It was nice, having them there. It was nice, being able to stare up at the twinkling lights and not have to worry about naming them all. "There's no real time to be lonely," he said, "I'm too busy." Indrak hummed in response.)

(Grizzop _didn't_ say, "I wish I could hear your jokes, though." Grizzop _didn't_ say, "You're the only one I have to be lonely for.")

Grizzop has to sleep, and his subconscious doesn't have the same control as his waking self does.

(Indrak laughs, and they're so close by, but Grizzop knows that they can't see him.)  
(Indrak is doing something in the dark of night, and Grizzop doesn't know what, but the small apartment they both share is cold without them in it.)  
(Indrak isn't back in the morning.)  
(Grizzop doesn't know how, but he's done _something.)_  
(Indrak vanished, and it's all his fault.)  
(Grizzop doesn't know what he's done, but he misses them so much, and he doesn't know where they are, and it's _all his fault.)_

Grizzop jerks awake from the dream, and he shakes himself. The photo from the cafe is still clutched tight between his fingers, and he looks at it. Indrak's smile and Grizzop's feigned glare (even as a grin broke through) look back.

(There's a hollow ache in his chest where Indrak's laugh used to live.)

Grizzop is a Paladin Of Artemis, and that is _so much bigger_ than him and Indrak combined.

(Grizzop doesn't have time to be lonely, so it's a good thing the loneliness can gnaw away at him even while he occupies himself.)

Grizzop doesn't have anywhere to be, and the river still isn't flowing.   
Grizzop has time. 

...Grizzop is lonely.


End file.
